As I looked at the image, my heart ached. Why do people do this? Why do they think it's a joke, something to be laughed at or over? On top of it, they made him look sexy. Granted it was a toy gun, none the less, the imagery was there.

There he was, my favourite film star, someone that I admired for his personal values and devotion to his family as much as for his skill and talent, and yes, someone I found incredibly attractive and sexy. There he was, holding a toy water gun to his head, with water running down the side of his face.

He wasn't to know, the photographer wasn't to know...yet if they had just stopped to think...

Think of 'me', of the millions like 'me'...

You see, I lost my son - my 13-year-old son - the very way my favourite star with the 'come-hither look' has "playfully" posed in this image. So, I don't see silliness or a rebelliousness in this image, I see horror...the water imitating blood running down the side of his face...I see pain, the pain of a mother knowing how and what she has lost for all eternity. I see thoughtlessness...

This is not the first time this has happened, it happens frequently, for example, once I was watching a favourite comedy improve show, laughing so hard I was crying...then the laughter abruptly stopped as I watched in pain as the comedian imitated putting a gun in his mouth and then used his arms and hands to demonstrate the results. No tears of laughter now...just tears.

He wasn't to know...yet if he had just stopped to think...

Think of 'me'...of the millions like 'me'...

Everyday millions more around the world join one of the saddest, loneliest clubs there is, one none of us wants to belong to...

Survivors of suicide.

And everyday, in a myriad of ways, we are reminded of our loss...and the raw, jagged, searing, weeping - often still 'bleeding' - wound that is torn into our hearts for all eternity is poked and prodded and all too often ripped open again with the jagged knife of insensitivity and thoughtlessness.

We know that ours is a pain only known by others in the unwanted and unwelcome club...so we don't expect others to truly understand or relate...all we ask is before you make light of this horrid tragedy...please...

Think...